I could use your help

I posted this on facebook, but only a few of my facebook fans actually see any of my posts, so I’m putting this here too.

I could use your help!

I want to put together a post (which might become a page, if it works well) of various language codes used by general society. Some examples would be the “high, how are you?” ritual, which actually means “Hi, I acknowledge you as a person!” Or one I’ve only learned fairly recently: “I want to get to know you” is code for “I want to get into your pants/date you/etc.” I am from the US, so I don’t know if these are codes in other parts of the world.

Would you tell me any codes that you know, along with their translation, and the region of the world that it’s used in?


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10 responses to “I could use your help

  1. In the US south, I’ve found that “bless his/her heart” either preceded by or followed by a criticism of that person is in fact a coded invitation to criticize that person as well, with the expectation that neither conversational party repeats the criticism of the other party without also repeating a similar sort of cushioning language (e.g. “Bless her heart but…”, “you know we all love him to death but…”, “Suzy only mentioned this out of love but…”)

  2. This is so incredibly hard for me! Coded language, the way everyone just seems to *know* that what is being said is not what is meant. I can only think of it in sarcastic tones, to be honest. Like “how was your weekend?” really means “I want you to ask about my weekend.” Which is probably not true, but it drives me nuts.

    I’m afraid I won’t be of much use in this project. I still take everything literally.

    • You know, I suspect that at least some of the time people really do mean it that way.

      I also think that I am going to need to find some neurotypicals to help me with this. I really want to put this post together, but I’m having a really hard time coming up with much too.

  3. Reblogged this on Spectrum Perspectives and commented:
    If you have anything to share – please do!

  4. Autism Mom

    Reblogged this on Autism Mom and commented:
    An opportunity to assist a fellow blogger! 🙂

  5. Autism Mom

    Reblogged on Autism Mom with a comment: An opportunity to help a fellow blogger!

  6. Just me

    How about, “You know what I mean?” (as in “She is so annoying. Everything’s always about her. You know what I mean?”) which actually means, “I want you to confirm that you’re listening and to affirm what I’m saying because I’m having strong feelings about this and need to know someone’s taking me seriously. If you need to disagree with me, acknowledge my feelings first then disagree gently.”

    Another one is “Ok?” (as in a parent who says a bunch of stuff then says, “Ok?”) means, “I want you to indicate to me that what I’m saying is registering and that you will behave accordingly in the future.”

    Also, I’ve heard people in high school say, “I’m talking to this guy,” or “I’m talking to this girl,” which means, in effect, “We’re romantically interested in each other and are moving toward dating.”

    Oh, how about, “We should get coffee sometime.” That means, “I’d like to spend a casual 30 minutes or so with you, probably talking and learning more about each other or catching up on each others’ lives. I might take the initiative on this if I’m not too busy, or you may need to reach out to me to make it happen.”

    As I’m writing these, it’s occurring to me more and more just how much tone and context will play a role in interpreting some of these ‘codes.’ I guess these are starting points, but they certainly aren’t foolproof interpretations.

  7. Hanna miller

    catch you later = see you later
    Just a minute= wait until I’m done with this
    Sweet= that is cool
    When someone apologizes and you say “that’s okay”= I hear your apology not that their action was ok with you.

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